Mencken quotes and aphorisms

Henry Louis Mencken famous quotes and aphorisms 2
Henry Louis Mencken famous quotes and aphorisms 2

Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself.
H.L. Mencken

Religion is a conceited effort to deny the most obvious realities.
H.L. Mencken

I know some who are constantly drunk on books as other men are drunk on whiskey.
H.L. Mencken

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed- and hence clamorous to be led to safety- by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
H.L. Mencken

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance. No one in this world, so far as I know—and I have researched the records for years, and employed agents to help me—has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.
H.L. Mencken

We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.
Henry Louis Mencken

Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
Henry Louis Mencken

Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.
Henry Louis Mencken

Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
Henry Louis Mencken

Women always excel men in that sort of wisdom which comes from experience. To be a woman is in itself a terrible experience.
Henry Louis Mencken

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.
Henry Louis Mencken

A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn’t care to drink with, even if he drank.
Henry Louis Mencken

Poetry has done enough when it charms, but prose must also convince.
Henry Louis Mencken

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
Henry Louis Mencken

The only cure for contempt is counter-contempt.
Henry Louis Mencken

A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.
Henry Louis Mencken

Every man is his own hell.
Henry Louis Mencken

I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine.
Henry Louis Mencken

I write in order to attain that feeling of tension relieved and function achieved which a cow enjoys on giving milk.
Henry Louis Mencken

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.
Henry Louis Mencken

Morality is the theory that every human act must be either right or wrong, and that 99 % of them are wrong.
Henry Louis Mencken

One may no more live in the world without picking up the moral prejudices of the world than one will be able to go to hell without perspiring.
Henry Louis Mencken

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.
Henry Louis Mencken

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.
Henry Louis Mencken

Archbishop – A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.
Henry Louis Mencken

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.
Henry Louis Mencken

I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs.
Henry Louis Mencken

If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.
Henry Louis Mencken

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what sting is justice.
Henry Louis Mencken

It is hard for the ape to believe he descended from man.
Henry Louis Mencken

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
Henry Louis Mencken

Nine times out of ten, in the arts as in life, there is actually no truth to be discovered; there is only error to be exposed.
Henry Louis Mencken

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
Henry Louis Mencken

Platitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone, and (b) that is not true.
Henry Louis Mencken

Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.
Henry Louis Mencken

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Henry Louis Mencken

There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are good.
Henry Louis Mencken

Time stays, we go.
Henry Louis Mencken

To die for an idea; it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true!
Henry Louis Mencken

Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country, it is a sign that he expects to be paid for it.
Henry Louis Mencken

As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.
Henry Louis Mencken

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
Henry Louis Mencken

In the duel of sex woman fights from a dreadnought and man from an open raft.
Henry Louis Mencken

In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.
Henry Louis Mencken

Judge: a law student who marks his own examination-papers.
Henry Louis Mencken

Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on.
Henry Louis Mencken

Man weeps to think that he will die so soon; woman, that she was born so long ago.
Henry Louis Mencken

Nevertheless, it is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
Henry Louis Mencken

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